The Power of Uno

For such a simple game Uno provides numerous ways to develop the therapeutic relationship, and this is especially pertinent with teens. Uno, a simple colour coded, number orientated game invented in 1971, formed part of my 1970’s childhood. Introduced by an American friend, she educated us ‘English kids’ to this game of chance and skill. Uno has come on family holidays, scout camps and finds its place in many therapy rooms. I have become curious how Uno holds this place.

Individual rules

Is it that Uno offers insight, as each client uses the deck in their own specific way? The challenge is to remember each ‘set of rules’ for individual clients. Clients bring in their family rules, starting games with five delt cards or eight cards or whole deck. The game play is different too. The cards command a response; pick up two, change colour, the rules on turn taking vary as for some responses are immediate while for others, cards be loaded on top of each other. A ‘+ 2’ played covered by a ‘+1’ forces the opponent to pick up 3 cards. Strong views are held by some clients on the rules they play by, perhaps showing a loyalty and connection to family value.

As the relationship grows and shifts the rules of Uno do to, clients try out different rules, adding in a rule or discarding one. I have played ‘speed uno’, used uno flip and even a version of Uno snap!

Uno in therapy

Playing games in the therapy room can give the opportunity to explore and manage difficult feelings in the safety of a therapeutic relationship. Uno works well as it provides clients the opportunity to take a winning position, consequently, make us the therapist the ‘loser’. A reminder our clients make us feel how they feel. A gentle reflection ‘you have won this game’ or ‘you're the winner’ gives the client insight. Clients can flip this, putting themselves in the losing position. Noticing how the game is played by the client can support teens to reflect on their relationships, perhaps explore the drama triangle or the idea of ‘rules’ and how this can cause conflict. It can give insight on attachment needs for a client in the way they manage winning and losing.

And then Uno can be so much more.

A young person I worked with, often arrived feeling angry with school. Slumping down onto the couch in school uniform they’d ‘check in’, scan the room and pick up the Uno cards.

They used their Uno rules, start with eight, counter and defend. As the game progressed, they would bring humour and build connection on their terms, exploring winning and losing with a wry banter. The loser of each game was expected to shuffle and deal for the next game. I often had to shuffle, in one session inadvertently I used the ‘riffle’ method of shuffling, they noticed.

A few sessions later they asked, ‘do that flicky thing’. Watching intently, they asked me to repeat this a few times. The Uno game resumed, however gradually over the weeks they would take on the shuffling role and practiced little by little the flick part of the shuffle.

After several weeks they arrived in the room with a weary resignation – then with a slight shift they picked up the pack, split it between us. Asking me to demonstrate, they copied and repeated the flick and the riffle.

They gave a self-reflective commentary on their outcome, success, how to improve. I held the space, casually mentioning what I noticed. Gradually they began to develop the skill to riffle a few of the bottom cards. Using the neuroscience of learning, I suggested they close their eyes and focus on the feel as the brain would be ‘tricked’. With eyes shut, they manged a full riffle. The sense of pride was evident, they felt success. Practice continued and even when the cards fell to the floor or the shuffle failed in some way the knowledge and feeling of success appeared to ensure motivation. They would add challenge too adding more cards to the deck until they managed to riffle shuffle of the whole deck. It had taken 35 minutes in one session to master the skill of the riffle shuffle, something we explored and reflected on.

Uno a seemingly simple game provides insight into our clients and the deck of cards provided a significant a positive outcome to this young person. The sense of pride and self-assurance as they left the room was a complete contrast to their arrival. I wondered as they left who else in their life might see this young person as self-motivated, autonomous and persistent.

I don’t often shuffle the pack now that is their role in the game, Uno is played still and they play to win and I am expected to do the same.